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Welcome To The Black Mesa Transit System

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Welcome To The Black Mesa Transit System

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'Welcome to the Black Mesa Transit System.' Residual Life. You play a scientist going about his day as Black Mesa suddenly becomes infested with aliens. Mar 06, 2020 'Good morning, and welcome to the Black Mesa Transit System.' March 6, 2020 10:03 AM Subscribe Black Mesa YouTubeGame Trailer Digital Foundry Comparison/Review ' Black Mesa was once a humble video game mod — but as of today, it's a full-fledged remake of Half-Life, newly released out of Steam Early Access.

Welcome To The Black Mesa Transit System Video

Apr 02, 2020 UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: Good morning, and welcome to the Black Mesa Transit System. ADI ROBERTSON: It's a shooter where you're a theoretical physicist, and it's your first day at work at this strange. This automated train is provided for the security and convenience of the Black Mesa Research Facility personnel. The time is 08:47 AM. Current topside temperature is 93 degrees, with an estimated high of one hundred and five. The Black Mesa compound is maintained at a pleasant 68 degrees at all times. This train is inbound from Level 3 Dormitories to Sector C Test Labs and Control Facilities. Black Mesa Transit System Announcer: Good morning, and welcome to the Black Mesa Transit System. This automated train is provided for the security and convenience of the Black Mesa Research Facility personnel. The time is eight-forty seven A.M.

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  • In Unforeseen Consequences, the microwave that you used to blow up the casserole has a headcrab in it, and you can turn the microwave on and make it explode like in Gremlins!
    • The microwaves in the facility also have a 'headcrab' setting.
  • If you're feeling bloodthirsty, you can have fun causing a rampage by killing scientists before activating the 'plot device' with cheats. From feeding the Barnacles with scientists to blasting their heads off with aSPAS-12 or a Colt Python just like an old west movie. You can even summon in HECU marines and their tanks, then set off a full-scale gunfight in the Black Mesa lobby.
  • Also in Unforeseen Consequences, when he sees Gordon after the resonance cascade, Dr. Kleiner will exclaim 'By Schrödinger's cat! He's alive!'
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    • Other such jargon-y expressions are used by various scientists — and as a Genius Bonus, they all have something to do with what the scientist is commenting on:
      • One says, 'Maxwell's demon! It's cold in here!' Maxwell's demon is a thought experiment that involves a hypothetical 'demon' making one side of a container hotter and the other colder* .
      • Another says, 'By Becquerel's ghost! The radiation levels are off the charts!' A becquerel (named after Henri Becquerel) is a unit of radioactivity.
      • And then, of course, there's Kleiner's aforementioned 'Schrödinger's cat' comment, referring to a famous thought experiment that involves a cat in a box simultaneously being alive and dead until observed. Sort of like how Kleiner didn't know if Gordon was alive or dead until he saw him.
      • With a little bit of Gallows Humor, there's a part where a scientist manages to stop a headcrab by smashing it with a monitor. Ironically, he gets mounted by another headcrab right behind his backwhile celebrating his victory too early.
      • More Gallows Humor combined with a little bit of Too Dumb to Live, the things the scientists say while attempting to hail the incoming soldiers before getting shot dead can be chuckle-worthy, but then there's the one guy who says 'take me with you! I'm the one man who knows everything!'
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  • At one point in Office Complex, one can find (likely through hearing it first) a Houndeye sitting in a room and making curious noises while watching a TV filled with white noise.
  • There is a picture of a cat hung up a wall in Office Complex, with the following caption:
    Erwin R. J. A. Schrödinger
    Quantum Mechanics (1887 — 1961)
  • Remember Clifford, the Dirty Coward who uses his friend as a Human Shield in Office Complex? Turns out if you shoot him with her around, she treats it like you killed an enemy! Just don't let the guards see this.
  • The expanded lines for the Non-Player Characters can lead to some downright hilarious snarks and random comments - sometimes randomly having nothing to do with the context of the situation.
    • Every variation of the guard's 'Make like a banana and split' line, including 'You better make like diarrhea and run.'
    • 'Ya know, they used to give me pills for that kinda behaviour.'
    • If you hear enough of the guards' lines for whenever Gordon throws something at them, it starts to make it sound like Black Mesa's Gordon is from Freeman's Mind!
      'Are you off your meds or something?!'
      'Man — you're an asshole when you're drunk!'
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    • In the hallway with the rotating signs, there's a scientist who comments on you standing next to him a long time by facetiously insinuating that you must find him attractive:
      'My — I'm handsome.'
      'I've always been told that my left side is better.'
    • Guards will sometimes comment on Gordon's HEV suit.
      Looking slick, Freemeister! Popsicle orange really brings out your eyes.
      • Even the HECU soldiers get in on the action.
      Soldier 2:He looks like an orange ice-pop, sir.
  • Gordon. Pets. A. Snark.
    • Neeeeigh.
    • Also, there's an animation where the Snark becomes agitated. Which in result, Gordon ends up threatening to punch him, causing the Snark to squeal in fear.
  • Kleiner instantly falling in love with the first Headcrab he sees.. which we may assume will be called Lamarr sometime later.
  • If they manage to stay alive long enough, the guards have some stern words for the HECU.
    Guard:[noticing a marine miss him] Semper Fi, ya douchebags! [cue returning fire]
    Guard: Go back to rifle class, Gomer!
    Guard: Better stick to peeling potatoes, Skippy!
  • This video from Vinesauce's Joel shows that if you chuck the Pizza in Questionable Ethics at an NPC enough times, you will kill them! The same thing also happenswith the trash can!
  • Black Mesa answers the question of just how the hell one wields the Hivehand, and the result of equipping it. You can't help but feel sorry for the poor thing.
    • For bonus points, wait to do this until you find the nearby security guard. He'll have some hilarious reactions.
  • Keep your subtitles on for some gems, particularly early on. Among them, the subtitles actually extend the r in 'They're waiting for you, Gordon. In the test chamberrrr.' During the same line, one of the other scientists turns around to look confusedly at the one who says it.
    • Try standing outside the room where the G-Man is talking to a random scientist, and put on the subtitles to see how they describe their unintelligible conversation..
  • If you return to the locker room after the Resonance Cascade in Unforeseen Consequences, you'll find one of the lockers has been blown open. Inside is a sign reading 'No Ridiculous Ties'.
    • And if any players get their score tied for the top in the Steam release's multiplayer? 'Now this is a ridiculous tie.'
  • In Anomalous Materials, one of the scientists is criticizing a research paper written by one of his colleagues. Talk to him long enough and he spouts this gem:
    'And what in the blue blazes is a.. is a ROFLcopter?'
  • The new models and textures are pretty funny, too..
    • The Cremating Furnaces in Questionable Ethics have options for Medium, Rare, and Well Done.
    • There's a sign by the laser in Questionable Ethics that reads 'Existential Danger', next to the Infinity Symbol.
      • Which becomes even funnier if you're familiar with the concept of an existential risk.
    • The rotating sign displays in Anomalous Materials inform about different aspects of the facility in a matter-of-fact style. Except for one, which just says: 'Innovative! Our tram system is really cool!'
  • When going through the portals in Lambda Core, you can find a room with a male scientist, female scientist, and a guard.
    Guard: These two bicker on Like an Old Married Couple.
    Male scientist: We are an old married couple!
    Female scientist: Who are you calling old!?
  • Inspection of the game's soundscape scripts reveals the following comments at the top of them:
    //Inbound: Welcome to Black Mesa! Where hazardous chemical spills are a daily occurrence!
    //Anomalous Materials: Someone explain to me why Gordon's job inside the test chamber, couldn't have been done by a robot, or even a monkey..
    //Unforeseen Consequences: This is what happens when you 'force' a computer to divide by zero.
    //Office Complex: Unbeknownst to the staff, the cafeteria had been serving bullsquid for years.
    //We've Got Hostiles: Hey guys, thanks for the rescue. Oh, what? A bullet with my name on it? Cool!!
    //Blast Pit: There's an alien tentacle in my soup.
    //Power Up: The tunnel system smelled like fried chicken for months afterward.
    //On A Rail: Good thing Gordon was around, or the scientists would have been forced to unleash droves of monkeys to press the rocket launch button.
    //Apprehension: Luckily, the Female Assassins were in short supply. If Gordon had to face more than 3-4 at once, he never would have made it to Xen.
    //Residue Processing: Tryouts for the Black Mesa swim team every Tuesday and Thursday.
    //Questionable Ethics: Please remain stationary, while we remove your internal organs.
    //Surface Tension: Look carefully for the hang gliding mini game in the cliffside level!
    //Forget About Freeman: The 2008 finincial [sic] crisis was simply a cover for the repair costs of the Black Mesa facility.
    //Lambda Core: And in the end, it was all just a crazy, radiation induced, nightmare!
    • You may get a feeling that someone in development had a thing for Freeman's Mind given that fried chicken joke was in that series.
  • Not the game proper, but the voice actor for Kleiner posted this video of him singing Sir Mixalot's 'Baby Got Back' in the Kleiner voice.
    • He later posted a cover of 'I got High', again as Kleiner, which ends with the Resonance Cascade occurring because he was high as a kite.
      Seeing predictable phase arrays.. But then, I'm high..
  • The bloopers. Hilarious Outtakes at their finest. Special mention goes to the alternate Black Mesa Transit System safety spiel and the security guard's bewildered reaction.
    Black Mesa Transit System: Please keep your limbs inside the train at all times. Fasten your seatbelts, and do not feed the rabid monkey.
    Guard: What?
    Black Mesa Transit System: Do not attempt to open the doors until the train has come to a complete halt at the station platform.
    Guard:Must've been my imagination..
    Black Mesa Transit System: Failure to comply may result in limb loss..
    Guard: Huh?
    Black Mesa Transit System: ..termination of your pass for the transit system..
    Guard: Ugh..
    Black Mesa Transit System:..and a one-way ticket to the principal's office.
    Guard:Principal's office? What?
    Black Mesa Transit System: In the event of an emergency, ignore it, and it will pass.
    Guard:What the FUCK?
    Black Mesa Transit System: Passengers are to remain seated and await further instructions should the emergency continue.
    Guard: *clears throat* Ugh..
    Black Mesa Transit System: If it is necessary to exit the train, each man for himself..
    Guard: What the f..?!
    Black Mesa Transit System: ..and the disabled personnel may wait behind and pray for a miracle.
    Guard: SON OF A BITCH!
  • The HECU grunts have some funny quips if Gordon manages to wound them.
    Grunt: I'M SO GLAD THE MEDIC DECIDED TO TAKE A FUCKING VACATION!
  • If you enter the server room during Anomalous Materials, a security guard points out that you did show up for work today, and reminds a scientist nearby that that means he owes him a pizza. If you then talk to the scientist in question, he makes several nasty remarks at the guard.
  • In Power Up, one room has a scripted ambush where Vortigaunts teleport in as soon as Gordon enters the doorway. The room is chock-full of combustibles. A single stray shot from a Vortigaunt aimed at Gordon will cause a chain reaction that annihilates the ambush. In fact, the act of electricity arcing while they charge the attack is enough to set it off.
  • With the fan release of the 'Hazard Course' chapter, there are many in-universe changes to avert things such as He Knows About Timed Hits or the fact that Gordon was accidentally signed up for security firearms training and some of them come off as humorous or incredibly morbid, or both.
    • If Gordon lands in the water in the first room, Kleiner will point out over the PA system that one of the pipes running across the water might say 'wastewater', but he assures him that is not that kind of waste. But then one of the other scientist points that actually it is that kind of waste. Kleiner then tells Gordon that he shouldn't worry anyway, as he will, of course, be subjected to a full disinfection treatment once the course is over.
    • When you get your crowbar, Gina's hologram instructs you in its use of prying apart crates that may obstruct workspaces, with the HUD tip lighting up with 'Mouse1: Pry open crates' but once you actually left click, you smash it apart and it changes to 'Mouse1: Destroy crates' and one of the monitoring scientists saying that works too. A 'Say 'Apple'.' moment if you could call it that.
    • You're told that in the demonstration of laboratory hazards that if you have charged your suit's armour then you should come out just fine and if not, they have medical staff on stand by. Cue another scientist muttering in the background about calling up a medical team to the hazard course.
    • One of the scientists hangs a lampshade on why they would need to train suit users on climbing ladders in the first place.
    • The fall damage portion to demonstrate medkits and medical stations still includes blood like in the original game, though now it also includes a long smear leading to a locked-off door labelled 'First Aid Station', and said smear also has a wet floor sign set on top of it.
  • Also from the Hazard Course, the dialogue of the same peppy guy who tells Gordon that he was accidentally signed up for firearms training.
    Scientist: Ah, Dr. Freeman. We've been waiting for you. Don't worry, I'm sure you hit some traffic… in the middle of the desert.
    At any rate, welcome to the Black Mesa Training Facility.
    Things have been in a state of commotion lately, but we're glad you're here.
    Just let me double-check your file.
    Ah, I see you've already signed our legal disclaimer.
    'I, Gordon Freeman, hereby agree to the following terms…' blah blah blah '…as any case of serious injury, dismemberment, toxic poisoning, burns, rashes, lesions…' blah blah et cetera et cetera '…hereby agree to waive all rights as an employee of the Black Mesa Research Facility.' Ah!
    Yes. It looks very good.
  • In Surface Tension, a scenario where a marine tosses a satchel charge into the gas pipe Freeman is crawling through is replicated from the original game with some tweaks. The explosion can still roast Freeman if the player doesn't react in time, but also blasts the heavy metal hatch on the opposite end from its hinges, sending it flying and crushing the marine.
  • The Bland-Name Product for WD-40 is AN US. On the can is the actual product's list of uses.. which the name makes rife with Double Entendre.
  • The 2018 April Fools joke.
    Bill:Forty bucks for a golden gun?! That's outrageous.. —ly awesome!
    Bob: Well, for an extra $4,99 we'll throw in this handy, dandy thermos. And inside that thermos, is a specially crafted—
    Bill: Uh? Uh, Bob? That's a gas can.
    Bob:(eerily calm) Don't fuckin' interrupt me, Bill.
    Bob:(describing the new premium HEV suit skins) And Cotton-candy Pink is extra sparkly, and it also has shields-effects that looks like a damn rainbow! (tearing up) It's a beautiful thing.
    Bill:Yeeeah, I don't know, Bob. It looks like they just took a spray can to the whole thing.
    Bob: Oh? Is that so? Tell you what. Let me go over there and get one of those, and I'll model it. And then — during the commercial break — you can kiss my sparkly, pink a(gets cut off by the video ending)
  • Mod Let's Player A Jolly Wangcore, while playing the 'Crack-Life Remastered' mod, made a throwaway comment about a small coffee cup while a Black Mesa dev was watching the stream.
    • Now with an animated version, courtesy of Antoine Delak of Gorgeous Freeman fame!
  • The Steam achievements contain a few jokes in their names, accompanying images and even requirements to fulfil them:
    • One requires getting killed by a headcrab. It's called 'Prophylactic Suggested' and the icon is Gordon's head wearing a condom.
    • Doubling as a Shout-Out to Freeman's Mind, the icon for the achievement 'Kinetic Repulsion' (kill a marine with their own grenade) references a certain Ambassador.
    • Aside from its eyebrow-raising name, the old icon for Premature Expulsion (use an entire clip of Gluon ammo in one continuous shot) featured a bespectacled Shoop-da-Whoop.
    • 'Less than Desirable Consequences': Get killed by the Anti-Mass Spectrometer's laser before inserting the crystal.
  • In Interloper, Gordon infiltrates one of the factories in Xen and an alarm immediately sounds. A nearby Vortigaunt nonchalantly pulls the plug on the alarm and goes back to pretending not to notice him.
    • Elsewhere in the chapter, some moveable boxes are blocking a door in the Vortigaunt dwellings. If the player moves them and goes upstairs, they find a supply cache from Black Mesa.. that pops open and showers snacks everywhere.
  • In Gonarch's Lair, after the first battle with the aforementioned boss, you can find a secret room with a whiteboard, scientific equipment and a radio. After interacting with this radio, it will play a voicemail from Barney Calhoun to Miller, describing his encounter with Dr. Horn, who believes that everyone is stealing his slices of pizza. While Horn's antics are pretty funny, the end of the message gives us a hilarious Call-Forward to Half-Life 2: Episode One.
    Officer Sezen: Hey Calhoun, guess who just locked himself out of his office again?
    Barney: Ohhhh, not Kleiner!
    Officer Sezen: Yup.. guess 'who's in the vents?
    Barney:(runs away, knocking over a chair)
    Officer Sezen: He's already halfway there, you're not gonna beat him.
    Barney:(in the distance) Bullshit!
    Officer Sezen:(approaches the phone) He ain't gonna beat him. (hangs up)
  • There is a secret computer terminal that the player can open at the beginning of the game, in the reception room with a guard and two scientists. This is a carryover from the original game, and in both cases, one of the scientists will indignantly tell Gordon to get away from it because he's 'expecting an important message.' Here, however, unlike the original game, the computer screen displays an Instant Messaging program, open to a conversation with a suspiciously familiarscientist. The conversation itself consists entirely of idle chatter that Half-Life 1's Scientists would occasionally share with nearby friendly NPCs.
  • In Questionable Ethics, have the security guard near the cafeteria follow you into the atrium, where two Grunts are discussing Black Mesa's Pretentious Latin Motto. The first grunt tries to pronounce it; if the guard is with you, he'll sneak up behind them as they talk, only to pause in frustration and say 'It's Latin!' The first grunt, without even looking to see who just spoke, says 'Oh. Hmph, foreigners,' before walking out of the room with his buddy.

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